I Want To Be Recalcitrant, I Am Just Exhausted

by Harlot Party

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about

'I Want To Be Recalcitrant, I Am Just Exhausted' was written in the latter part of 2016 by Kyky Renee Knight and Garrett Knighton, and recorded just outside of Athens with Drew Kirby in November 2016. 'Black Heart' (see merch tab) was written by Kyky Renee Knight and illustrated by Athens-based Author Will Walton in the late summer of 2016, following a surge of media coverage on the epidemic of the shooting of unarmed black men and women in the US. Both these works are intensely purposeful, and Harlot Party would like to thank the following people for their contributions to and encouragement in seeing these projects through:

Our moms
Our siblings (kenny kevon kaiden kam cam weath)
Drew Kirby
Will Walton
Hunter Whitehead
Nikki Curry
Kelly-Ann McMahon Ford
Steven Ledbetter
Everyone who has consistently come out to see us
<3 <3 <3

credits

released January 15, 2017

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about

Harlot Party Athens, Georgia

Harlot Party is a growing musical relationship between friends/lovers Kyky Renee Knight (vocalist/guitarist) and Garrett Knighton (guitarist, formerly of sad/heavy band Juna). The two-piece blends melodic, careful, intertwining guitar lines with haunting, emotional vocals that fluctuate from delicate and fragile to sharp and grating. Harlot Party was formed in August 2016 in Athens, GA ... more

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Track Name: Ostensibly Discouraged
My fragile sigh is but a simple plea
I'm begging you to rescue me
From my memories, cause they won't set me free
And I've been running for so long
Track Name: Whop
Did you mean well?
Should I give you the benefit of the doubt?
Should I look over the details whenever I think about
How you were fucking somebody that wasn't my mother
And throwing her around?
You were just a child when you were raising my brothers, I'd be lying if
I said I wasn't upset.

My old man watches his watch, he gets quite unsettled, he's watching his luck, he's an old man, and he's a goner, he's an omen
but I can't say that, I can't say that...

My old man watches his back, he gets quite unsettled he's watching his act, he's an old man.

You've made, a huge mistake
You will never learn
So help me out, I will not stay

And I won't call back, cause you won't care if I don't
I know, you're feeling alone
And If I do, you'll tell me you're so fucking sorry for the past twelve years.
I'm not your little girl, and If I ever was
You don't owe me a god damn thing
Don't need your words, don't eat your words
And the worst part is,
It's not completely your fault.

You've made a huge mistake
You will never learn
So help me out
I will not stay
Track Name: I Am Uncomfortable All Of The Time (Acoustic)
I'm uncomfortable all the time
I shake when I'm around my friends
Cause' I am terrible and selfish just like them
But we are not bad
I can't control my shaking hands
I can't begin to tell you why I feel bad again
But I am not bad

Sometimes I hate myself
Sometimes I think you hate you
Sometimes I break myself
Sometimes I think I break you

Our hearts die every night
Didn't we make up little lies?
Saying our hearts are doing fine
Didn't we make up little lies,
When our hearts died every night?
Track Name: Preserve, Persevere
Tell me when it's over
Tell me again that you're over
Feeling like you did when we were testing the waters

Guard your empty boxes
Put them where your heart is
Fill them with your innocence
And close them tight
Track Name: Politic Disbelief
I used to cry myself to bed
Hoping that I didn't feel like I felt
In the morning
I started to feel like I was playing
A game I didn't sign up
A game I wasn't cut out for

And they'd tell me
They still tell me

Sweet girl
Are you ever coming back home?
You seem to be tired of just breathing in.