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I Want To Be Recalcitrant, I Am Just Exhausted

by Harlot Party

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1.
My fragile sigh is but a simple plea I'm begging you to rescue me From my memories, cause they won't set me free And I've been running for so long
2.
Whop 06:01
Did you mean well? Should I give you the benefit of the doubt? Should I look over the details whenever I think about How you were fucking somebody that wasn't my mother And throwing her around? You were just a child when you were raising my brothers, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset. My old man watches his watch, he gets quite unsettled, he's watching his luck, he's an old man, and he's a goner, he's an omen but I can't say that, I can't say that... My old man watches his back, he gets quite unsettled he's watching his act, he's an old man. You've made, a huge mistake You will never learn So help me out, I will not stay And I won't call back, cause you won't care if I don't I know, you're feeling alone And If I do, you'll tell me you're so fucking sorry for the past twelve years. I'm not your little girl, and If I ever was You don't owe me a god damn thing Don't need your words, don't eat your words And the worst part is, It's not completely your fault. You've made a huge mistake You will never learn So help me out I will not stay
3.
4.
I'm uncomfortable all the time I shake when I'm around my friends Cause' I am terrible and selfish just like them But we are not bad I can't control my shaking hands I can't begin to tell you why I feel bad again But I am not bad Sometimes I hate myself Sometimes I think you hate you Sometimes I break myself Sometimes I think I break you Our hearts die every night Didn't we make up little lies? Saying our hearts are doing fine Didn't we make up little lies, When our hearts died every night?
5.
Tell me when it's over Tell me again that you're over Feeling like you did when we were testing the waters Guard your empty boxes Put them where your heart is Fill them with your innocence And close them tight
6.
I used to cry myself to bed Hoping that I didn't feel like I felt In the morning I started to feel like I was playing A game I didn't sign up A game I wasn't cut out for And they'd tell me They still tell me Sweet girl Are you ever coming back home? You seem to be tired of just breathing in.

about

'I Want To Be Recalcitrant, I Am Just Exhausted' was written in the latter part of 2016 by Kyky Renee Knight and Garrett Knighton, and recorded just outside of Athens with Drew Kirby in November 2016. 'Black Heart' (see merch tab) was written by Kyky Renee Knight and illustrated by Athens-based Author Will Walton in the late summer of 2016, following a surge of media coverage on the epidemic of the shooting of unarmed black men and women in the US. Both these works are intensely purposeful, and Harlot Party would like to thank the following people for their contributions to and encouragement in seeing these projects through:

Our moms
Our siblings (kenny kevon kaiden kam cam weath)
Everyone who has consistently come out to see us
<3 <3 <3

credits

released January 15, 2017

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Harlot Party Athens, Georgia

Harlot Party blends melodic, careful, intertwining guitar lines with haunting, emotional vocals that fluctuate from delicate and fragile to sharp and grating. Harlot Party was formed in August 2016 in Athens, GA

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