'Black Heart' Zine by Kyky

from Harlot Party

By: Kyky Renee Knight
Illustrated by: William D. Walton


My nightmares meet me in the morning, not that I sleep.
Usually they come in succession.
Sometimes the faces differ, the cities, the time of day.
The story is, for the most part, the same.
A murder. In cold blood.
No justice. No peace.
I hear my brothers and my sisters crying:
No justice. No peace.
Out to--OVER
An endlessly,
Tirelessly,
Painstakingly deaf
Global community that seeks to silence
Our breaths, our voices, our minds.
On the other hand,
This global community,
Makes a farce out of our cries,
Conveniently they hear us,
Particularly the liberal minded:
They post videos of our
PUBLIC LYNCHINGS---
They post pictures of our mismanaged,
Mis-litigation: the crime of HAVING A BLACK BODY
HAVING A BLACK HEART
Is entertainment. Has been.
Wayside activism says
The more you know.
The better.
The consideration for the emotional
And psychological well being of those of us
Who know---in the way of knowing that makes you vomit,
In the way of knowing that makes you dizzy,
In the way of knowing that makes you call
YOUR MOM
YOUR BROTHER
YOUR OTHER BROTHER
YOUR OTHER BROTHER
YOU OTHER BROTHER
YOUR SISTER
YOUR AUNT
YOUR UNCLE
YOUR DAD
YOUR GRANDMOTHER
YOUR GRANDFATHER
YOUR COUSIN
THEIR MOM
THEIR DAD
And so on
To make sure it wasn’t them, or someone they knew.
Yet.
In the way of knowing that makes you frantically search
ON YOUR HANDS
ON YOUR KNEES
For a bottle of Ativan, so you know
Where you are.
Not that you forget---
Comes after -or never-
The sentimental
GUILT RIDDEN
Intellectualization of a basic hatred.
Sometimes
With eyes open, and hot tears washing my face,
I take my nightmares to work,
Or to school,
Inside a backpack,
Or a purse,
The place I also keep my
CIGARETTES
IDENTIFICATION
SKITTLES
WALLET
CELL PHONE
CD’S
PERHAPS A SQUIRT GUN FOR MY BABY BROTHER TO PLAY WITH
You know, a place to conceal
The death stirring up inside of me.
But I keep it there.
I do not bring it out for all to see.
Because the hegemony says my nightmares are not
Equitable to those of others.
I learn to keep it in the family.
I learn to keep it at home.
I learn to be polite and not
SHOUT DOWN THE THROATS
OF THE ONES UPHOLDING A
SYSTEM WHICH PREYS ON THE VERY SOULS
OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND I
FOR ENTERTAINMENT, FOR PROFIT
Because that would be improper, and impolite.
Usually, after tossing, and turning
In broad daylight
Between shattered laughs and pensive smiles
I gather myself
SOMETIMES I EVEN APOLOGIZE
If i’ve let it slip out
THAT WE ARE HURTING
Because I fear, not confrontational
Language, that might cause discomfort
BUT LOSING MY LIFE
I have to calm down my mind,
And take the nightmares for what they are
Particularly as an intellectual.
Resist the urge to over analyze
My people’s own
COLD BLOODED MURDER
like they do.
I am more, and better, and stronger than that.
I want you to know that
They did not wait for the sun to set
Before laying my brother,
Before laying my sister,
To rest.
They did not wear masks,
Or cover their hands,
Or say a prayer
Asking their god to forgive them.
They did not forget
That we, too deserve, fair trials
And fair treatment
Because they do not believe this to be true.
We live nightmarishly, and want to wake up.

You can also pick one up from Avid in Athens, GA for $3 with all proceeds going directly toward purchasing copies of 'Justice While Black' by Robin Shipp, to be donated to local schools and libraries around the county.

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Harlot Party Athens, Georgia

Harlot Party blends melodic, careful, intertwining guitar lines with haunting, emotional vocals that fluctuate from delicate and fragile to sharp and grating. Harlot Party was formed in August 2016 in Athens, GA

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